Moments of Permanence - On differences in oppression, derailment, and the hierarchies of hurt

From: alias_sqbr Date: April 6th, 2009 06:48 am (UTC) Re: ... deep breath ... (Link)

Right. What follows is going to look very much like a slam. However, I want you to know that it is not a slam of you. I am taking a dim view of several things today, and I take a dim view of some of the things you have just said, but I am not questioning you, your worthiness, your motivations, or your intelligence. I am going to get about as far as asking you a rhetorical question, which I hope will not give more offence than is warranted in a robust, but essentially courteous conversation about politics. That having been said, I now apologise in advance for the vigour of the comments which follow (this comment is prefatory -- they have, of course, already been typed and I'm not in a self-censorious mood).

Is that..a disclaimer? :D

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From: ataxi.livejournal.com Date: April 6th, 2009 08:17 am (UTC) Re: ... deep breath ... (Link)

Yeah, I know. But look, it needed one didn't it? But fair play, I'm beginning to understand why you're so nice about these things now!

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From: alias_sqbr Date: April 7th, 2009 06:49 am (UTC) Re: ... deep breath ... (Link)

Excuse me, I need to take a moment to be unbearably smug.

HA! I was right all along! See, people should just listen to me to start with! WHEN WILL YOU ALL LEARN?!

*cough*

But yes, with stuff like this where feelings are high and so many people are arguing in bad faith etc you really can't assume people will figure out what you mean and give the benefit of the doubt.

Of course that doesn't mean that long disclaimered tl;dr is always a good alternative, but the concept of sometimes not saying anything at all is rather against my nature and I'm still working on it :)

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From: ataxi.livejournal.com Date: April 7th, 2009 07:00 am (UTC) Re: ... deep breath ... (Link)

Well, it seems to me one has a few alternatives. Two of them are to be nice, polite and somewhat tentative (according to your fashion), and to simply be unbearably correct and defensible about everything (in which case it doesn't matter so much if one is nice). And there's the spectrum in between, and there's many other factors. But when is neither nice, nor particularly right (as in my case yesterday), there's a blood in the water effect.

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From: alias_sqbr Date: April 7th, 2009 11:03 am (UTC) Re: ... deep breath ... (Link)

simply be unbearably correct and defensible about everything

Nice work if you can get it :D

But that's the thing: even if you're correct you also have to be unambiguous, because if there's another interpretation of your words which is incorrect (or racist or whatever) people will often interpret you (or at least me :/) that way, and if they don't know you (and your tendency to be almost-but-not-quite always right :)) it's entirely reasonable for them to do so.

Of course unambiguous is not necessarily the same as nice.

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From: tevriel.livejournal.com Date: April 6th, 2009 08:19 am (UTC) Re: ... deep breath ... (Link)

*laughs*

I'd say you win the internet, but I suspect you only win that fraction of the internet that reads both of our journals closely. ;)

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From: alias_sqbr Date: April 7th, 2009 11:02 am (UTC) Re: ... deep breath ... (Link)

I shall keep this small section of internet tubing as a momento for always :)

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