Moments of Permanence

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I am an even worse person, it turns out... Dec. 6th, 2009 @ 02:30 pm
More Metal Gear Solid 4.

So there's this scene where you come across a soldier weeing into a river. I stealthed up to him, and, just as he zipped up, pointed a gun at him. Snake growled, "Freeze!" and the soldier dropped his gun and put his hands up.

I nicked his gun and then, for fear he might raise the alarm otherwise, shot him with a tranq. He fell unconscious.

All well and good so far, fortunes of war, that kind of thing. And we were still doing okay when I searched his body for anything else useful.

But the way Snake searches bodies is to pick them up and then drop them. And this guy landed in a crazy pose - feet braced up on the fence, arms sprawled to the side... It's hard to describe but I found it amusing.

So, I said to Chas, who was watching me play and was also entertained by his unusual pose, "Man, that's practically art." Whereupon I switched guns and put a bullet in his head. "Now I have to make sure he doesn't wake up and ruin it."

A pause, as Chas splutters faintly.

Me: "That was slightly serial killerish, wasn't it?"

Chas: "Slightly?"

I think I've been spending too much time in Arkham Asylum lately.

Because your day isn't complete unless someone talks about their orifices, right? May. 26th, 2009 @ 07:11 am
I have invented a new form of insomnia. It involves going to sleep fine, but waking up ever-earlier and being unable to get back to sleep. Then, because I'm tired, I go to bed earlier, and my bedtime winds backwards. But if I nap, I can't sleep at night, and my psychiatrist has forbidden napping.

On the bright side, this morning I have invented a superior method of putting ointment up my nose.

I somehow injured the inside of my left nostril several weeks ago; it's been refusing to heal, not least, I think, because every time I bumped my nose or blew it less than flawlessly, it broke open and started bleeding again. Yesterday I saw my doctor, and her recommendation? Savlon. In my nose. Thrice daily.

On the one hand, it already seems to be helping. On the other hand, putting antiseptic ointment in your nose fills the world with The Smell Of Antiseptic. I have a reasonably sensitive nose. This is very hard to get used to. Also, putting my finger in my ouchy nostril to apply ointment both hurt and felt really weird. (Even weirder than having ointment in my nose feels generally, which is Very - it feels like I really, really need to blow my nose properly.)

Solution: Using a cotton tip. (Q-tip, for some of you.) Apply ointment to cotton tip, insert in nose (ignoring the bolded allcaps on my box of cotton tips that says CAUTION: TIPS SHOULD NOT BE INSERTED INTO EAR OR NOSE CANALS because I am a rebel and they can't tell me what to do), rub hurty places, resist urge to shudder violently at sensations this causes, resign self to everything smelling (and, therefore, tasting) of antiseptic for several hours.

I'd already had breakfast, but I keep thinking that my water glass is contaminated. If housemate.Dave decides in the next week that it's time to make his transition from Such A Quiet, Good-Humoured Fellow to And Yet, Also A Serial Killer by poisoning me, I'm so very much not going to notice.

This entry written entirely while unmedicated, as it happens, across two days... Apr. 21st, 2009 @ 09:00 am
Things seen and not understood: the shoes a woman I saw at a bus stop was wearing. Half-inch spiked heels.


All the non-calves-and-bottom-accentuating state of flats, only with the ankle-threatening instability of spiked heels. It's like someone set out to design the Worst Possible Shoe.

Meanwhile (she says, picking up this entry the following day): This morning [ profile] velithya's responses to my hyperactive bouncing around became limited to: "BREAKFAST. MEDICATION." Which, obviously, I responded to by calling her an ABLIST OPPRESSIVE JERK etc.

Cue me sitting down to breakfast (just after she left for work), and thinking to myself: Yay! It's happy munchy foods time!

... Which, it occurred to me, may well be proving her point.
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