Moments of Permanence - Ponderance: Ways of Being and Perceiving with a Socially-Unacceptable Body Type

About Ponderance: Ways of Being and Perceiving with a Socially-Unacceptable Body Type

Previous Entry Ponderance: Ways of Being and Perceiving with a Socially-Unacceptable Body Type Mar. 13th, 2009 @ 10:41 am Next Entry
So, I'm fat. This is news to no-one, probably; certainly no-one who's met me.

Last weekend, I fell awkwardly, and twisted and bruised my knee, coming down on it hard trying not to jar my already-injured shoulder. It hurt a lot, and has been gradually getting better.

But because of it, I've been putting off doing anything that involves unnecessary stairs. The last couple of days, especially, my knee has been fine for walking on the flat, but not for stairs or hills. I have work to do on the second floor of the library, and there are three books I want on the third, but it's not urgent, so I've been delaying till I can take the stairs without pain.

I thought I was getting there, but this morning I stumbled getting off the bus and jarred hell out of my sore knee. Puts me back a couple of days of recovery, at least, I think. So I still can't go upstairs without pain.

Thing is? The library has a lift. UWA has Standards about disabled access. But to use the lift, you need a pass from the desk. You have to go ask them for it, explaining why you need it. (How I feel about making basic library access something disabled people have to go to specific trouble for is less than wholly approving, in any case, but that's not the entire issue, here.)

I cannot bring myself, as a fat person who doesn't *look* injured, to go to the desk and ask to use the lift, even though I can't get upstairs without significant pain right now. Because I think I'll look like a lazy fatass. And I don't want to be that person. (It's the same reason I hate being seen eating in public, especially at non-mealtimes, which I sometimes have to do due to hypoglycaemia. OH LOOK FAT PERSON EATING ALL THE TIME. Gah.)

I'm really not sure how I feel about all this.

Current Location: Reid Library

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From:[identity profile] theducks.livejournal.com
Date: March 13th, 2009 01:53 am (UTC)
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The fact you have to have your card programmed for the lift in the Reid Library is something that initially seemed odd, but apparently it's a slow lift and too many lazy students were using it, inconveniencing those who needed it.

Regardless of your knee, I think you should talk to the UniAccess people about your general health issues, and see if they can sort out card access to that lift.

I believe my card still has that access from when I worked at ITS (but not the enter/exit through Fire Escape doors that it used to :P)
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From:[personal profile] alias_sqbr
Date: March 13th, 2009 02:05 am (UTC)
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I'm often glad I'm not more overweight for similar reasons: I can't walk up stairs, I puff and wheeze after short walks, I eat all the time etc. I feel self conscious enough as it is. But of course being too sick to exercise much means I probably will get quite overweight. I wish people didn't feel the need to judge others.

In short: screw them!

EDIT: Sorry, that got a bit grumpy :) But yes, I've seen the way people judge Cam (eg the stereotypical "See the doctor about an ear infection, get told to lose some weight" thing) I've also made my sick worrying about people's reactions, and thus have a bit of a "screw you all" attitude.

And having to apply to use the lift sucks, if it can't handle the pressure they should get a new one. I didn't even realise there was a lift, so just walked up the stairs with my bad knees :/
From:[identity profile] splintax.livejournal.com
Date: March 17th, 2009 01:13 pm (UTC)
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But yes, I've seen the way people judge Cam (eg the stereotypical "See the doctor about an ear infection, get told to lose some weight" thing)

Why is this unreasonable? Being overweight is unhealthy - I think it would be irresponsible for a doctor not to advise an overweight person to try to lose weight.


There are many people who are overweight due to circumstances that are (to varying extents) out of their control, but they do not form the majority of overweight people. Given this, I think it's fair for a doctor to suggest that overweight people try to lose weight - if there's a legitimate medical reason for it, they should be able to explain that to the doctor.

From:[identity profile] tevriel.livejournal.com
Date: March 18th, 2009 12:02 pm (UTC)
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Your question rather assumes that any overweight person has somehow not noticed they're overweight, or has not heard that there are potential negative health consequences for being overweight, or is aware of these things and yet just not considered the possibility of losing weight as an option.

You are also, perhaps, missing the context of the stereotype she was referring to, in which the doctor reacts unhelpfully to an immediate medical problem because all they can say is "lose some weight", even if the patient's weight has no possible bearing on the reason why they're seeing the doctor.

Added to that:

There are many people who are overweight due to circumstances that are (to varying extents) out of their control, but they do not form the majority of overweight people.


Prove it.

No-one chooses to be fat. The reasons why someone might be are variable, and yes, many people could lose weight if they made major lifestyle changes, but major lifestyle changes are in a sense a luxury; if someone doesn't have the resources, be they physical, mental, financial, or otherwise, then they're not going to be able to lose weight.

And for the record? Being overweight is not automatically unhealthy. There are a LOT of other factors involved in "unhealthy".
From:[identity profile] splintax.livejournal.com
Date: March 19th, 2009 05:39 am (UTC)
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I'll address this first because the rest of my argument depends on it:

Being overweight is not automatically unhealthy.
Doesn't 'overweight' mean 'outside (ie. above) the healthy weight range for your body type'? I thought being overweight was, by definition, unhealthy. In any case, we're talking here about somebody being told to lose weight by a doctor; I think in these circumstances it's fairly safe to assume that the person's weight is unhealthy.

Your question rather assumes that any overweight person has somehow not noticed they're overweight, or has not heard that there are potential negative health consequences for being overweight, or is aware of these things and yet just not considered the possibility of losing weight as an option.
I'm sure most overweight people know that they are overweight and that it's unhealthy -- however, a doctor's recommendation might reveal to them that their weight is so unhealthy that they should do something about it. I'm ready to admit that a doctor recommending that someone lose weight is probably not going to change anything most of the time, but when the potential consequences of telling someone they need to lose weight are just hurt feelings, I don't think it's responsible for a doctor to do anything but recommend that a person with an unhealthily high weight try to reduce it.

You are also, perhaps, missing the context of the stereotype she was referring to, in which the doctor reacts unhelpfully to an immediate medical problem because all they can say is "lose some weight", even if the patient's weight has no possible bearing on the reason why they're seeing the doctor.
Yes, I did miss this stereotype. However, medicine, especially the type that GPs practise, is a rather inexact science, and the health consequences of being overweight are many and various. Though it would be wrong for a doctor to say 'just lose weight' and send a patient on their way when more suitable treatments for the patient's condition exist, I think there are very few circumstances in which you can definitively say that someone's weight has no possible bearing on the reason they're seeing the doctor. Again, since losing weight is always a healthy thing for an overweight person to do, I think doctors should recommend that overweight people lose weight even if the issue they've come to see the doctor about is not weight-related.

Finally:
Prove it. No-one chooses to be fat. The reasons why someone might be are variable, and yes, many people could lose weight if they made major lifestyle changes, but major lifestyle changes are in a sense a luxury; if someone doesn't have the resources, be they physical, mental, financial, or otherwise, then they're not going to be able to lose weight.
Well, I can't prove this (easily, at least). However, I believe the vast majority of the non-overweight population thinks that for most overweight people, losing weight is well within their means. If you think this is an inaccurate stereotype, I think the burden to provide evidence challenging that stereotype falls on you.

'Lacking the mental resources [needed for exercise]' is commonly referred to as 'being lazy'. If you can provide an example of how a mere lack of money makes it impossible for somebody to lose weight, I'd like to see it; exercise doesn't cost money. Of course, I'm willing to accept that some people lack the 'physical resources' to lose weight -- though I'd rather describe those people as having a 'medical condition', because the former term seems to include those who are just physically unfit (ie. a superset of 'overweight people').
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From:[personal profile] alias_sqbr
Date: March 19th, 2009 04:49 am (UTC)
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*agrees with tevriel's reply*
From:[identity profile] troubleinchina.livejournal.com
Date: March 13th, 2009 04:27 am (UTC)
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*hug*

I wish I had something helpful and meaningful to say. I know that I'm aware of how I look when I eat in public, or when I take the lift instead of the stairs. It feels like judgement is coming down on me, and let's be honest: it is. Not from everyone, of course, but enough. And as nice and brave as it is to say "Gosh, I just don't care!" I know I do, and I can't imagine there are very many people in our screwed up culture who don't.

*hug* Is there anything you need? I mean, other than a sharply worded letter to the uni that demanding people with disabilities jump through hoops is a bit much?
From:[identity profile] tevriel.livejournal.com
Date: March 13th, 2009 06:28 am (UTC)
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Yeah, the woman at UniAccess agreed with me that it seems kind of horrible and ablist to make people with disabilities go through Major Hassle just to be able to use the library. It's bad enough that most of the shelves really aren't wheelchair-friendly, but I accept that makng all the books wheelchair-accessible pretty much isn't possible, and the librarians, I'm sure, would be quite ready to help on that score.

Sympathy helps.

What's currently upsetting me rather a lot is that it turns out that the library staff member in charge of granting the relevant access is someone who, to the best of my knowledge, hates me, has said explicitly and more than once that he thinks I'm faking my health issues both physical and mental, and suchlike joys to my sense of calm.
From:[identity profile] firefly21.livejournal.com
Date: March 13th, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC)
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WHAT??? That's totally inappropriate. If he gives you any grief at all, you go over his head with appropriate letters from your doctor/psych etc confirming you have been officially diagnosed with certain issues, and make a formal complaint about his lack of professionalism and judgmental behaviour.
From:[identity profile] tevriel.livejournal.com
Date: March 18th, 2009 12:03 pm (UTC)
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I may have to, but I really don't WANT to. However, if it hasn't been sorted out when I go back to uni (tomorrow), I won't have a choice.
From:[identity profile] maelkann.livejournal.com
Date: March 21st, 2009 09:02 am (UTC)
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Of course, this also assumes that person is stupid enough to lose their job over petty feuds.
From:[identity profile] greyreviews.livejournal.com
Date: March 21st, 2009 09:19 am (UTC)

Wonder how long till Rae deletes this.

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Yeah because im going to piss away a 60k a year job at one of the most prestigious institutions in the state because of my dislike* for Rae. Any request from UniAccess no matter who it is for is actioned as soon as I recieve it.

Rae's very suggestion that I would even consider holding her access back is so ridiculous as to do nothing but provide further evidence to my opinion that Rae deliberately creates fake dramas to garner undeserved sympathy.


* Dislike is all it is, despite Rae's claim of hate, she is once again being overly melodramatic. Rae is far too irrelevant to my life to even get close to being the realm of hate.
From:[identity profile] tevriel.livejournal.com
Date: March 21st, 2009 01:37 pm (UTC)

Re: Wonder how long till Rae deletes this.

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*elects not to delete*

Alternatively, I have a mental illness and am sometimes completely irrational.

I apologise for the insult to your professionalism, it was genuinely uncalled-for. (Although I didn't identify you by name, it was of course obvious if you looked at my journal - which I am still bemused you do - and would be insulting to you personally, even if no-one else identified you.)
From:[identity profile] greyreviews.livejournal.com
Date: March 21st, 2009 04:16 pm (UTC)

Re: Wonder how long till Rae deletes this.

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Dont worry, I dont read your journal.

I just recieved a "Hey Rae is having a go at you on LJ again" comment from a mutual friend which prompted investigation.
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From:[personal profile] velithya
Date: March 13th, 2009 04:41 pm (UTC)
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1) Your body condition is a direct result of past events physical and mental. As you recovered from your mental illness, you will find that your body condition will improve.

2) Your body condition does not define who you are or anything about you unless you let it. You are not "a fat person", you are a person, who happens to be overweight. It's true that society is judgemental; that doesn't mean you have to be judgemental on yourself.

3) I hope you feel better in the morning.
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