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Mar. 4th, 2009 @ 09:48 am 
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See, here's the thing.
Today is Meds Day. In a couple of hours I have an appointment with my psychiatrist at which, it is expected, I will be prescribed medication to try and soothe my ADHD. I've been pleased and excited about this, about the prospect of something that eases the relentless fizzing fury in my brain. It's surely a good thing - with some resolution to my focus issues, both my studies and my recovery from depression should be much less fraught with frustration, and my general impatience should be lessened, too. It should be a positive life change.
I'm also terrified.
I'm twenty-eight years old, and I've always been like this. I've developed coping strategies, ways to work around it. Parts of it are parts of my self-image. The restless intelligence - maybe it was just making virtue of necessity, but I like that I'm interested in everything, I like my ability to multi-task, to keep six different threads active in my mind.
And I don't know how getting medicated for ADHD is going to change me. I don't know how it's going to feel. What if I hate it? What if it just doesn't work? What if it doesn't really make things easier, what if I still struggled to focus on a page for more than three lines at a time?
What if nobody else likes the New Me?
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Everything's going to be awesome! *hugs*
Failsafe plan: Go for six months, and then have a big review chat with Velithya and Chas. At the end of six months, you all will have a good idea of how it's going. If everyone is agreed that everything is fantastic, keep going. Otherwise medication can be ceased.
BUT.
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!
*more hugs*
Thank you. *hugs back*
First day information suggests that such a review will be YES STAY ON THEM as a result, if only of the reduction in anxiety issues and so on...
We'll still love you. Yes, even the New You.
also: http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/773/motivationalposter.jpg
♥ ♥ ♥
Nothing says love like shirtless Winchesters.
I have a friend on ADHD meds who likes some aspects of the ADHD and how it colours her experience of the world - some weekends when she has no particular deadlines or stresses, she takes a mini-break from the meds to enjoy it.
This comment seems to demand an 'I am not a doctor!' disclaimer... :)
Rather.
Worth noting, I guess, that on my current medication plan, I'm likely to have some return of ADHD symptomology in the evenings as it is. We'll see how I feel after a few days - experience so far today is that it's a deep and wonderful relief to be medicated.
it is your choice whether or not to take the meds. if they work for you then it's a good idea to take them, but if they don't, no one is forcin you to do so.
Oh, I know. I'm taking them in hopes they'll fix focus issues that bother me a lot - what I was worried about was what other effects they might have, and what being less ADHD would have. Being ADHD was Not Working for me, but it's a shift to be without that.
yeah, many of my students have similar sorts of problems; hate being on the meds because they feel they have no personality, hate being off the meds because they can't cope at school.
heck, you'll still be you
<3
| From: | (Anonymous) |
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March 4th, 2009 09:15 pm (UTC) |
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R,
Everyone who liked you for the right reasons - because of the wonderful person you are - is going to like the New You, because in those regards, the New You is going to be the same as the Old You.
And if someone doesn't like the New You, then two things:
1. They didn't really like the Old You, they only liked what they thought was the Old You.
2. I'm going to beat them to a pulp, as you are (as yet) still unable to do so yourself. Mind you, if that should change, I'll simply hold your coat while you beat them up, as you are far better than I at ass-kicking.
M.
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