Moments of Permanence -

From: arielstarshadow.livejournal.com Date: January 18th, 2009 06:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hopefully I haven't posted anything that did you any harm *hugs*

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From: tevriel.livejournal.com Date: January 18th, 2009 06:55 pm (UTC) (Link)

I don't think so. My latest reading of my friends list cut off abruptly at oh god trigger though.

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From: arielstarshadow.livejournal.com Date: January 18th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

Having seen the trigger list, I can say that I've not hit any of those subjects, thankfully.

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From: tevriel.livejournal.com Date: January 18th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

Up to a point, I'm forgiving, anyway. Like, for a while after Tabitha's death, *anything* cat-related really upset me, but I didn't put a call out for people to stop talking about their cats, or anything. There's a line between what's reasonable to expect people to cut and what isn't, and I'm aware of that.

Friends list removal is an easy enough solution to the problem of people having a different perception of the location and breadth of that line, since no-one I'm especially close to has done it.

(Talking about cats is definitely on the "okay" side of that line, so I didn't want to mention it till I was over that stage. Which I am - I can even go to icanhascheezburger without destroying my emotional equilibrium now.)

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From: the-xtina.livejournal.com Date: January 18th, 2009 06:55 pm (UTC) (Link)

Now I'm all curious.

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From: tevriel.livejournal.com Date: January 18th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Well, see, I have, for about eight months now, been going through a serious depressive episode. Like, my nearest and dearest sometimes get to have the fun of wondering if I'll actually survive it, and at the times when survival is not the immediate issue, they just get to watch a whole lot of really unpleasant shit happening with my brain.

Like, "wow, so this is why people linked mental illness to demonic possession, you act like a totally different person... and kind of like possessed people in Supernatural" sort of thing.

I have a list of triggers. Since, at present, our objective is pretty much to keep me alive and going to regular sessions with my clinical psychologist, which are gradually getting me sane again, our major approach is currently trigger avoidance.

These triggers include:

- sexual violence
- abuse of children
- bad things happening to cats (since, for reasons I have been professionally advised are totally and absolutely natural, I have post-traumatic stress disorder about the death of Tabitha)
- references to the above, when I'm fragile

Certain people on my friends list have been known to post things describing/related to both sexual violence and child abuse without so much as a warning.

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From: the-xtina.livejournal.com Date: January 18th, 2009 08:16 pm (UTC) (Link)

I have one about bad things happening to cats, and apparently I have one for talking about suicidal tendencies, though it feels different.  (I get easily convinced, for the latter.)

I think I posted something that falls in that list where I didn't mention.  If so, I apologise for that; I try to keep people's triggers in my head (frex, a friend of mine has one about needles), but I didn't remember yours for some reason.

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From: tevriel.livejournal.com Date: January 19th, 2009 03:05 am (UTC) (Link)

I'll keep that in mind for catchup, since I didn't see yours. Forewarned is forearmed and all that.

I understand the suicidal thing, too. I'm a bit like that, but it's kind of a dangerous subject at the moment since a member of my extended social circle committed suicide last week. (In fact, his funeral is happening as I write this; I'm not there because, more or less, I couldn't handle it.) So it's something that certain people on my friendslist *do* get a total pass for writing about right now.

I'm also, in general, though, a lot more forgiving of people who *try* to be considerate, which you totally do.

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From: alias_sqbr Date: January 18th, 2009 10:13 pm (UTC) (Link)

You could make a "only read when I'm feeling really robust" filter as in in-between option.

I hope none of my stuff has freaked you out! I try and look out for that sort of thing but know I've messed up before. If you ever do need to defriend me for this reason I would understand (assuming I knew that was why)

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From: tevriel.livejournal.com Date: January 19th, 2009 03:06 am (UTC) (Link)

You aren't in danger. Your mistake was link, not post, really, and you learned after one "so, hey, this is a porblem" comment.

Filter isn't a bad idea, though.

(Also, I couldn't delete you! Partly because, you know, I'm really very fond of you, partly because you post cool things.)

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From: alias_sqbr Date: January 19th, 2009 11:12 am (UTC) (Link)

Haha! I have made myself indispensable! My plan has worked :D

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From: http://users.livejournal.com/drayke_/ Date: January 19th, 2009 02:30 pm (UTC) (Link)

I haven't made any posts - that makes things easier ;)

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From: tevriel.livejournal.com Date: January 21st, 2009 04:22 am (UTC) (Link)

SUPERIOR TACTICS

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