Moments of Permanence - A vast and building resentment

From: willow Date: August 23rd, 2011 07:08 am (UTC) (Link)

See, I think it's genetic, how one deals with addiction. I was able to slow wean off caffeine; because it disturbed me that my doctor thought it was a 'safe' addiction. How can any addiction be safe? And I have slips (hopes and misremembering) with various food stuff and losing all my usual comfort foods etc. But even while my personality can quit some things totally cold and move on for the sake of my health; sugar for example? I cannot imagine a life w/o any sugar at all.

So it could depend on the addictive substance and how genetics leans one towards it. I guess I have less of a problem with people saying they can't quit - back when the ONLY way was cold turkey. But the addictive substance is nicotine and there are options for that NOW. So, yeah, I can't get anyone not just switching over AWAY from the health problems of tar and filter carcinogens.

And I have problems with people who aren't really admitting they have an addiction. Who use it as an excuse. I'm not really a big fan of 12 step programs. But I do believe the first step in stopping something is to admit it has a hold over you. You may want that hold not to be permanent, but if you don't admit something currently has you in its grips and come to terms with that, then everything else will just be excuses and flailing in my mind; pretending to make progress to hide the fact you aren't.

People who say 'I just can't - whatever' and don't find it disturbing that THERE IS SOMETHING CONTROLLING THEM?! Then I start getting twitchy. Because to me, that lack of looking inward is a kind of extreme selfishness, they don't even give that much of a damn about themselves, y'know? That I find fearsome.

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