| In which Sami's view on gender identity boils down to "shut up, it's not your call" |
 In which Sami's view on gender identity boils down to "shut up, it's not your call"
|
Sep. 29th, 2009 @ 12:27 pm 
|
|---|
I just watched the trailer for Nobody Passes Perfectly. There's a line in it that struck me - "You decide for yourself what kind of man you want to be."
On some level, this encapsulates everything that frustrates me about trans-related stuff. My ideas about manhood are second-hand, obviously, but I spent many years trying to get comfortable with the idea of womanhood, and ultimately, to me, that's it: you decide what kind of woman you want to be.
So why can't it just be, well, leave it at that? She was born with a penis but she wants to be the kind of woman who mixes the active hobbies of a creative artist with a driven professionalism when she's on the clock - good for her. She only fails at her womanhood if she spends all evening every evening watching TV and doing nothing creative at all, and all day every day making robots out of post-it notes. (Unless they're functional robots, in which case she is *awesome* no matter what.)
And that's still her problem, not yours. (Unless the robots are trying to take over the world.)
The thing I can't work out about some people's attitudes to transfolk and queerfolk and all sorts of folk, is: why do they care?
And I can't work out whether that's something I *want* to understand.
|
![[User Picture Icon]](https://v2.dreamwidth.org/16080982/8491) |
| From: | ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png) rainbow |
|---|
| Date: |
September 29th, 2009 07:19 am (UTC) |
|---|
|
|
|
|
(Link) |
|
I think they care because they feel scared and threatened. I'm not clear why it scares them so badly, although I suspect basic insecurity; if self-identity is based on externals and how others perceive you instead of who you are inside, seeing others challenge your preconceptions of what's normal may be very scary adn threatening.
Years ago my friend Brandon loved to ride BART while reading the Wall Street Journal and decked out in his most outlandish and spiky punk outfits, just to challenge ppl's preconceptions of "punk".
Strangers treated me very differntly meeting me as a man vs a woman back in the 80s, even though my behavior was pretty gender neutral and didn't change a whole lot (posture and walk and vocal style, yes. Other behaviour, not much).
And meeting someone the 2nd time as a differnt gender freaked some ppl out badly (possibly the more so since my friends treated me the same). fortunately in that time and in those places it wasn't ever a violent reaction, just quiet (usually) freak outs.
Some people who are not secure in who they are do seem to have a lot more trouble with having their preconceptions challenged than people who don't give a damn who others think they *should* me and just merrily go on their way being who they want to be. And the first group really resents the 2nd group, I think.
Argh, I've had sleepy meds and I'm babblng, I think. So I will stop and just say I agree that gender is and should be part of self identify and up to each person to define for themselves.
|
|
| Top of Page |
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios |
