Moments of Permanence - Good people do bad things: demonising Them is not the answer

From: willow Date: May 22nd, 2009 10:11 am (UTC) (Link)

People recovering from effed up childhoods tend to be BIG on boundaries as good things. Which means we're more sensitive to the crossing and/or violation of said boundaries, which immediately pings to us as wrong.

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From: sami Date: May 22nd, 2009 12:04 pm (UTC) (Link)

Huh. I never thought of it that way, but that's exactly it. It's the conscious way of limiting definitions of appropriate, acceptable, etc.

Thank you for that.

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From: morgan_dhu Date: May 22nd, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yes, that's a very good way of putting it.

Sometimes I also wonder if it can make someone more sensitive to the idea that someone who does bad things is not necessarily a completely bad person. I know that growing up with people who did both very bad things to me, and very good things, was confusing, and may have made me more conscious of boundaries, but also prepared me for the fact that people are not generally all one thing or the other.

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From: willow Date: May 22nd, 2009 11:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

True. The person who burns your hand with the iron may also be the person who buys you ice-cream and pets your hair and doesn't let other people bully you.

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