| February 9th, 2023 |
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So last time I posted I was like "wow I lost my password"
I also mentioned "so I have a concussion"
GUESS WHO HAD NO IDEA WHAT SHE CHANGED HER PASSWORD TO AND JUST HAD TO CHANGE IT AGAIN
Concussion recovery continues. I'm seeing the guy. It's currently bad again because the weekend was too draining for my bruised brain - five hour drives each way to go to a funeral, crying for four hours straight, that kinda thing, very hard on brains.
I have a vague recollection that I used to want to use this journal more just so, like, I'd forget things less? But the last few years have been hard. I don't know. I think I've been running from the self-reflection involved, also every time I go to my reading page I'm horribly confused because people are casually referring to things I now don't know about and then I feel terrible and overwhelmed.
Right now I am still being an asshole who isn't reading my reading page because, as mentioned, concussion, I have a lot of trouble with reading things.
Anyway, in re: not wanting to forget things:
I noticed L (age 3 and a half) kept looking at me during the funeral. Afterwards, his mother told me that he could see I was crying and kept wanting to bring me tissues, but she didn't let him because she knew if she let go of him she'd have to chase him to stop him just running around in a way that would be quite inappropriate at his grandfather's funeral.
I still think that was just so sweet, though.
Later that evening we all went to have fish and chips at Emu Point and I was feeling a bit rubbish (the wake got very loud and my brain kinda shut down, concussion sucks) so I lay down on J&T's tarp blanket thing and L hurled himself onto my tummy, oof. (His dad called him back after he ran off again immediately so he could apologise, while his aghast mother checked I was okay and was like "if it makes you feel better he only does that with people he really likes and feels comfortable with! We're so sorry!" Apparently he usually only does it with them and she had not anticipated it at all and I have never seen someone radiate so much I know you had surgery not that long ago I really hope you're better oh my god did my son just kill you energy.)
I am not upset and L is still one of my favourite humans in the world, I adore him so much. He's just such a delight.
I also met ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png) velithya's brother's kids for the first time in their lives and they're great. Also got to hang out with her brother himself - we've met before a few times but hadn't really had a chance to hang out, that was nice.
One of C's brothers sang a song at the funeral and it was so affecting I currently can't listen to songs that have vaguely similar themes without crying.
I took this picture that evening:
Description: Foreground: white beach sand and some long grasses. Beyond water of a bay, and beyond that hills below a near-sunset sky, the almost-full moon visible.
(I had to edit this post because I'd left the image way too big.)Current Mood:  listless
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