In which Sami gets to make light of serious topics

[sami]

... because I am on my way to doing an extremely passable impersonation of someone who's been violently assaulted, and the explanation is one of those really implausible ones that sounds like an excuse for domestic violence.

"So, how did that happen?"

"Well, a glass fell off my windowsill and landed on my head."

"A glass."

"It's a really heavy glass."

"Uh-huh."

"And it landed just over my eyebrow, with, like, a corner..."

"A corner. Of a glass."

"Yeah. You know what I mean, like, an edge. A small surface area at point of contact."

"Go on."

"Anyway, yeah, it landed on my head, and there was this comically massive lump -"

"A massive lump?"

"Yeah. Chas said he'd only seen lumps like that on television and thought the makeup artist should be fired because it was so unbelievable."

"Chas saw it pretty soon, then."

"Well, yes - no, not like THAT! This was a few minutes later. And he was trying to joke around a little because I was crying, so -"

"You were crying."

"My head hurt. It was really painful!"

"No doubt."

"A GLASS FELL ON MY HEAD."

"Of course it did."


This is much like how my parents were relieved that I was such a friendly child, because it meant they didn't have terribly awkward questions to answer about how I was such a bruised child. (Basically: ADHD combines with mediocre physical co-ordination to produce many, many accidental minor injuries.) Or there was the time my mother had a nasty black eye, because she'd been hit by a book... that my father was holding... (They were coming around the same corner from opposite directions. Both of them were apparently being somewhat inattentive. My father had a book. He's taller than my mother. You can see where this resulted in a black eye for her.)

And then on Saturday night I put a very heavy glass on my windowsill. On Sunday morning I went to close the window, knocked the glass off directly onto my face, and started the day with a shock of cold water splashing over my head, whereupon I touched the place that hurt and found my head started about an inch further away from my skull than it was supposed to.

So I spent Sunday with an all-day headache playing Assassin's Creed II and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, because obviously I must combine a very recent game with one as old as KOTOR.

Assassin's Creed II continues to be awesome. I'm barely into the actual plot at all, but I've thoroughly renovated the villa and town, because it's there and now it's all pretty and BETTER. And since my villa now generates almost eleven thousand florins every twenty minutes, I also now don't actually have to worry about doing things to make money unless I feel like it.

Comments

[sqbr]

Thankfully they've mostly faded and washed off at this point, but I had some dramatic and unfortunate looking "bruises" on my face arm and chest from hair dye, and was wondering if I'd have to explain them to anyone. And it's a good thing I don't bruise easy or my childhood would have been much the same.

[borg]

I was at Goodwill today and a lady literally kept dropping Bibles on me. Srsly. I was looking at something on the lower shelf, and they kept falling off - onegot my leg, one got my arm, and one FELL ON MY HEAD.

[rainbow]

i hope you'll recovery from the glass assault soon!

[lady_ganesh]

I had a GINORMOUS bruise on my shin that actually ended up with a tiny area of extra bone-- not enough to be a problem, you can just feel it if you try-- from when I was a clumsy kid. (I am a clumsy adult now but don't generally run so fast.) I cannot for the life of me remember how I got it, though.