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Tales from the ED
So, on Saturday I spent most of the day at the Emergency Department, accompanied by my awesome buddy Dean.
Obviously, this sucked, especially since neither of us ate between breakfast and when we got home just before 5pm. Dean was a trooper, though, even braving the isolation room to hold my hand while I had a pelvic examination, despite the fact that - all other considerations aside - this cost her all blood flow to that hand for the duration.
Anyway, I'm just about okay now, although I still get lightheaded if I stand up too fast, too long, or exert myself; all consequences of some apparent issues with blood pressure drops, assumed to be connected to my having lost thoroughly disconcerting amounts of blood over the course of four or five days via womanly pathways.
So. Highlights of the trip:
1) Woman in next bed in the ED processing room explaining her troubles, using the phrase "volcano of the stomach". Dean and I were both sleep-deprived, low on blood sugar, and dehydrated by this point; suddenly we were twelve and trying hard not to snicker audibly.
2) Volcano Woman was replaced by... a guy with something stuck in his butt. SERIOUSLY I AM NOT KIDDING. I had just had someone poking my cervix and I still found this inappropriately funny.
3) Discharge time, I was desperate to go home. Dean and I had come straight from the GP who recommended I go to Emergency, and I was hungry, thirsty, and in dire need of ADHD medication and things to do.
The nice doctor came back to see me. "Do you need to go to the toilet before you leave?"
Me: "Not really..."
Her: "Do you want to try? I know you said you're not sexually active, but we have to do a pregnancy test before you go anyway."
Me: "..."
Her: "We only need a tiny amount..."
We went home, and I took my ADHD meds, and, to a degree that I had never before experienced, I could feel them kicking in. It was like the whole world decelerated sharply and came into focus, all at once. It was really, really odd.
Obviously, this sucked, especially since neither of us ate between breakfast and when we got home just before 5pm. Dean was a trooper, though, even braving the isolation room to hold my hand while I had a pelvic examination, despite the fact that - all other considerations aside - this cost her all blood flow to that hand for the duration.
Anyway, I'm just about okay now, although I still get lightheaded if I stand up too fast, too long, or exert myself; all consequences of some apparent issues with blood pressure drops, assumed to be connected to my having lost thoroughly disconcerting amounts of blood over the course of four or five days via womanly pathways.
So. Highlights of the trip:
1) Woman in next bed in the ED processing room explaining her troubles, using the phrase "volcano of the stomach". Dean and I were both sleep-deprived, low on blood sugar, and dehydrated by this point; suddenly we were twelve and trying hard not to snicker audibly.
2) Volcano Woman was replaced by... a guy with something stuck in his butt. SERIOUSLY I AM NOT KIDDING. I had just had someone poking my cervix and I still found this inappropriately funny.
3) Discharge time, I was desperate to go home. Dean and I had come straight from the GP who recommended I go to Emergency, and I was hungry, thirsty, and in dire need of ADHD medication and things to do.
The nice doctor came back to see me. "Do you need to go to the toilet before you leave?"
Me: "Not really..."
Her: "Do you want to try? I know you said you're not sexually active, but we have to do a pregnancy test before you go anyway."
Me: "..."
Her: "We only need a tiny amount..."
We went home, and I took my ADHD meds, and, to a degree that I had never before experienced, I could feel them kicking in. It was like the whole world decelerated sharply and came into focus, all at once. It was really, really odd.
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Are you ok now? That does not sound like fun for anyone! *sends you positive womb healing vibes*
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