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Also: Bathroom products and gender identity
So, my first reaction to my new Nivea for Men Facial Wash is more-or-less: wow, this is awesome! I really like how it makes my skin feel. Clean but not dry. Other products I've tried tend to leave my skin feeling stripped (I suspect these ones are intended to remove makeup, which I don't wear) and taut or greasier than ever. So, hooray.
But then I thought about it, and started wondering.
I bought several products that are, explicitly, for Men. In doing so I didn't, and don't, have to worry that people will question my womanhood or even my femininity; I've never been into ultra-feminine stuff, but I don't fear people questioning whether I'm a "real" woman. I am genetically, physically, biologically female; the ways in which society defines womanhood contrary to my own definition are things I don't have to think about. I'm not comfortable with them, but I'm okay with being female and they can't take that away from me without, I don't know, somehow rewriting my chromosomes.
On the other hand, say I wasn't approximately cisgendered. Say that, rather than my gender issues being "I do not like how society defines womanhood, and therefore, fuck that noise, but I won't think about it all that much" with my womanhood being a faintly uncomfortable default, I felt like I do - but had XY chromosomes and a penis. (Let's not bring breasts into this - flatties are still women.) This would be a lot more difficult, because:
Society has messages about what a "real" woman is. A lot of them are absolute bullshit, and I know it - but they still make me uncomfortable, sometimes succeed in making me feel like I'm not a real woman. Ultimately, I can realise it's misogynistic fail. Because nobody's ever tried to tell me I'm not a woman.
(Well, technically, a friend of mine suggested once I should consider whether I would really be more comfortable if I were a man. Said friend is, in fact, a trans woman; my reaction amounted to: "Nah." Well, that and reminding her that just because she's a lot girlier than I am doesn't mean I'm not just as much a woman. I'm just still kind of a tomboy.)
I suspect that if I were trans, especially if I were still trying to claim my proper, womanly identity, I'd find using a product "for Men" kind of hateful and reject it as an option. The fact that the product that seems to be right for me is "for Men" would hurt, be a reinforcement of the messages that I wasn't "really" a woman.
(Note: This is me hypothesising about my own mental processes, my own awareness of the kind of things I, myself, am vulnerable to. I'm not trying to draw or suggest conclusions about the experiences of actual trans women. I'm not in a position to do that - but I know what would hurt me.)
So. Here's what I'm trying to pin down.
Buying "for Men" products, on my part: cisgendered privilege, feminist transgressive act, or both?
The fact that I have to get "for Men" products to get packaging that's in soothing monochrome and products that suit me (e.g. a facial wash that isn't designed to remove makeup, and therefore likely to strip my un-makeup-touched skin, or "moisturising", and therefore hideously greasy, or both): misogynistic, stupid, or what?
(Also, seriously, Corporate World. If I want to moisturise, I'll use moisturiser. I have some. It's a tub of sorbolene cream - it costs me like eight bucks for a six month supply, and I apply it exactly when and where I want it, and it works brilliantly. Shut up.)
But then I thought about it, and started wondering.
I bought several products that are, explicitly, for Men. In doing so I didn't, and don't, have to worry that people will question my womanhood or even my femininity; I've never been into ultra-feminine stuff, but I don't fear people questioning whether I'm a "real" woman. I am genetically, physically, biologically female; the ways in which society defines womanhood contrary to my own definition are things I don't have to think about. I'm not comfortable with them, but I'm okay with being female and they can't take that away from me without, I don't know, somehow rewriting my chromosomes.
On the other hand, say I wasn't approximately cisgendered. Say that, rather than my gender issues being "I do not like how society defines womanhood, and therefore, fuck that noise, but I won't think about it all that much" with my womanhood being a faintly uncomfortable default, I felt like I do - but had XY chromosomes and a penis. (Let's not bring breasts into this - flatties are still women.) This would be a lot more difficult, because:
Society has messages about what a "real" woman is. A lot of them are absolute bullshit, and I know it - but they still make me uncomfortable, sometimes succeed in making me feel like I'm not a real woman. Ultimately, I can realise it's misogynistic fail. Because nobody's ever tried to tell me I'm not a woman.
(Well, technically, a friend of mine suggested once I should consider whether I would really be more comfortable if I were a man. Said friend is, in fact, a trans woman; my reaction amounted to: "Nah." Well, that and reminding her that just because she's a lot girlier than I am doesn't mean I'm not just as much a woman. I'm just still kind of a tomboy.)
I suspect that if I were trans, especially if I were still trying to claim my proper, womanly identity, I'd find using a product "for Men" kind of hateful and reject it as an option. The fact that the product that seems to be right for me is "for Men" would hurt, be a reinforcement of the messages that I wasn't "really" a woman.
(Note: This is me hypothesising about my own mental processes, my own awareness of the kind of things I, myself, am vulnerable to. I'm not trying to draw or suggest conclusions about the experiences of actual trans women. I'm not in a position to do that - but I know what would hurt me.)
So. Here's what I'm trying to pin down.
Buying "for Men" products, on my part: cisgendered privilege, feminist transgressive act, or both?
The fact that I have to get "for Men" products to get packaging that's in soothing monochrome and products that suit me (e.g. a facial wash that isn't designed to remove makeup, and therefore likely to strip my un-makeup-touched skin, or "moisturising", and therefore hideously greasy, or both): misogynistic, stupid, or what?
(Also, seriously, Corporate World. If I want to moisturise, I'll use moisturiser. I have some. It's a tub of sorbolene cream - it costs me like eight bucks for a six month supply, and I apply it exactly when and where I want it, and it works brilliantly. Shut up.)
no subject
The fact that I have to get "for Men" products to get packaging that's in soothing monochrome and products that suit me (e.g. a facial wash that isn't designed to remove makeup, and therefore likely to strip my un-makeup-touched skin, or "moisturising", and therefore hideously greasy, or both): misogynistic, stupid, or what?
Yes, yes, and also a sign of how ridiculously overspecialized the consumer goods industry is.